TSLOAI Chapter 1

 Translator: Nezucoat

Editor: Tide

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“Hah...”

Shi-Yoon felt mentally fatigued after completing the hectic press conference. 

<Nu-Bois>, a boy group which had debuted eight years ago, was led by its leader, Do Shi-Yoon.

At one point, he was proud of the group, but now he hated them.

Small scandals and bits of inappropriate attitude pushed Shi-Yoon into a daily spiral of frantic peacemaking.

The public opinion and media showered <Nu-Bois>’s reputation with hate comments. Even more so, after the incident on that particular day, which had been the cause of the press conference for all the members.

“Jeong In-Hwan, I shouldn’t have trusted that bastard…”

All Shi-Yoon had done was diligently work in the entertainment industry.

Every time his members made a mistake, his job was to advocate for them while simultaneously hoping for happier days to arrive.

But after the drug incident, even the honest, hardworking Do Shi-Yoon was labeled as a sly fox playing leader for a failing boy group.

His head ached.

Not wanting to drag himself further into the depths of despair, he took the car and headed towards Incheon.

None of his problems would be solved, but perhaps seeing the ocean would calm him down a little.

Truthfully, though, he wanted to conjure the sweet memories of their earlier days.

He started the car after turning on <Nu-Bois>’s debut song, “Done”.

Shi-Yoon felt strange as he drove without a manager, bopping his head lightly to “Done”.

Their musical rating had always been at an all-time low, but their first song, their first music video, their first music show, and meeting their fans for the first time…

His experiences back then still made Shi-Yoon’s heart race.

But of course, it was quite a waste that eight years had resulted in this mess.

“I didn’t want those feelings…”

Then, it happened.

A truck that had been speeding in front of Shi-Yoon suddenly swerved, crashing its bumper into the guardrail.

It frantically rotated 180 degrees right in the middle of the road.

Squeak!

BANG!

Shi-Yoon’s car didn’t even have the chance to avoid the impact. It promptly collided with the truck, taking so much damage that it mutated into an unrecognizable lump.

Blood dripped down his forehead and into his eyes, clouding his vision. His consciousness slowly ebbed away.

“.....to end up like this.”

「October 10th, 2022.

<Nu-Bois> Leader, Do Shi-Yoon, dead in car crash」

 

* * *

 

“Ughh…”

Feeling began to return to his fingertips.

Testing and moving every muscle in his stiff body, Shi-Yoon slowly opened his eyes.

“What, I… No. Where am I...?”

He forced himself to stand while wearing a ridiculously oversized suit.

Although, when he glanced over it again, the suit reminded him of a Sangju-Bok.*

*{Translator’s Note: “Sangju-Bok” is clothes worn at someone’s funeral or death.}

More on that thought— the room he had opened his eyes in looked eerily like a funeral home.

“The car crash….Yeah. I had an accident, right? Am I dead, then?”

Unable to grasp the situation, Shi-Yoon slid open the door and stepped out of the room.

The scene that lay before him could only be described as shocking.

“Why must you take him?!! What will happen to us if he leaves like this…!”

“Sob...Mom”

It was only the back of their figures, but he could recognize the voices immediately as his mother and his little brother, Shi-Yeon.

So I’m dead. This is what happens when you die…

If he had known that there was a sort of afterlife, perhaps he would’ve gone to church more often.

Wait, but that picture doesn’t look like me?

He scrutinized the memorial portrait carefully.

“Oh…It’s Dad…”

Freshman year of high school.

When Shi-Yoon was 17, his father passed away in a sudden car crash.

The place that looked so familiar was the place they had held his father’s funeral.

“Go get some rest, Shi-Yoon. You cried all day. You must be tired.”

At those words, Shi-Yoon felt abrupt chills as he received a pat on the back. It was his uncle.

He didn’t expect his uncle’s hands to feel so tangible— even if this was a dream. Even if he were a ghost, he was sure that the sensation of solidity wouldn’t exist.

But it was his first time being dead, so...

“Uncle… Am I alive?”

“Goodness gracious, all of this must have been far too alarming. Take a nap. Poor child…”

From the moment Shi-Yoon opened his eyes, everything about him had felt off.

And on top of that, it seemed as though he harbored a stiff but extremely light body.

Up until that point, Shi-Yoon had known there was something wrong. But now, he was sure of it.

Right now, he was 17 years old.

 

* * *

 

Three days passed in a blur, and he came back home with his family to let himself sink into his thoughts.

Shi-Yoon felt the pain of having to send his father off twice.

But it had already been ten years. Shi-Yoon’s wound had healed a long time ago.

He had a scar, although it didn’t hurt.

More importantly…

Today was the start and the first day down a steep downfall of his existence.

Because of his father’s death, Shi-Yoon had begun to lose all control over his life to the point where daily tasks seemed impossible.

I think I hurriedly picked up a bunch of part-time jobs?

Obviously, there were support funds from the country, as well as death insurance. They weren’t poor.

But Shi-Yoon lacked economic insight and only wanted to support his family.

His strange desire for money stemmed from the belief that he would be able to bring his mother and brother out of their despair.

So, he worked part-time jobs and, as a result, neglected his idol training. 

Every day, he drowned in fatigue and used his exhaustion as an excuse to slack off on his practicing.

That continued until he was taken out of the debuting boy group at Crown Entertainment, with which he had a contract.

In desperation, Shi-Yoon quickly made a contract with a new company after his contract with Crown Entertainment had ended.

On top of everything, he felt that he needed to debut quicker. So he was placed in a lukewarm group with lukewarm members and debuted in a very lukewarm manner.

He shouldn’t have done that.

It began a domino effect that plagued him until the day of his death.

I suffered a car crash, opened my eyes, and I’m 17? Does any of this make sense?

It had been three days since Shi-Yoon had opened his eyes. Things were not becoming any more straightforward, and every day, he fell into deeper confusion.

But…

It wasn’t so bad.

If what was happening to him wasn’t an illusion, Shi-Yoon could easily get a hold of everything.

He could make his dreams come true.

Shi-Yoon had always felt slightly dissatisfied with his time in the entertainment industry because of the particular products and music the industry expected of them.

The music the company wanted.

And he, who willingly shoved it down his own throat.

At one point, he even choked on the popularity and money as he struggled to swallow it all.

He wanted to become a subjective artist, if you will.

Shi-Yoon had always admired international, top-class idols: idols that other idols respected to the utmost degree.

That longing—he had never fulfilled it.

Until now.

Shi-Yoon had an opportunity now.

He had the freedom to become the idol he wanted to be, a rapper in a totally different profession, or even compose a few songs if he desired.

If not the things above, he could start a music show. If that didn’t work, he could do anything else.

And Shi-Yoon wanted to try.

Whether it was because he had never seen the end of the road or because there was a bit of regret lingering deep inside of him, he didn’t care.

He wanted to walk a similar path.

“Will I be able to do it?”

Shi-Yoon asked his reflection in the mirror, but the answer came far more easily than he had expected.

Of course he could.

He had confidence in what the future held for him, the process of moving forward, and his musical ability.

Shi-Yoon spent the day submerged in his thoughts with sleep as the only deadline.

Today, he dreamt. But starting tomorrow, he would run to catch the dream in his arms.

 

* * *

 

Trying to remember what his lifestyle was like ten years ago was hard.

But Shi-Yoon used mental shock as an excuse to ask his mother about his schedule, and that was all it took.

His mother never thought of his behavior as strange.

When school was over, Shi-Yoon headed toward Crown Entertainment.

He was currently a trainee there, after all.

Crown Entertainment.

It was one of the Big Three in South Korea, producing top-tier girl and boy groups.

As if it were a norm, many trainees would head straight to the company’s dorms after their regular academic classes, not bothering to participate in any extracurricular or nighttime cram school.

As he carelessly entered the subway train and strode toward his destination, Shi-Yoon noticed some girls make quick, timid glances at him.

The glances made him undeniably uncomfortable, not because there were too many, but because there were far too few.

Although Shi-Yoon’s public image had been crushed in his last life, he still had outstanding facial features.

With clear pale skin, he was the typical cold-hearted, handsome man.

An ethereal atmosphere quietly widened in the radius around him.

His looks were more than enough to grasp people’s attention. This was, actually, not Shi-Yoon’s own judgment, but the judgement of the entertainment industry that he had been in for eight years.

“Shi-Yoon. You’re here.”

At the entrance of the company, he bumped into Chui Nam-Joo, Crown Entertainment’s vocal coach.

“Hi, coach.”

“O-Oh, um, yeah—it’s pretty early, isn’t it? H-How are you?

The coach had a nervous attitude. He worriedly examined Shi-Yoon’s expression.

Chui Nam-Joo’s greeting, which was supposed to have been spoken with a cool, casual tone, escaped his mouth with the opposite tone.

Anyone could guess that the vocal coach had no idea as to what he was doing.

“I’m doing fine. Because things are a little crazy right now, could you please print out my schedule?”

“You…Okay. Get right to vocal training. I’ll print out the schedule and give it to you in the practice room.”

“Yep. Thank you.”

Maybe he should've been kinder with his request, but Shi-Yoon had already decided to do what his heart told him.

As memories of the past came back to him, they clicked together like puzzle pieces, helping Shi-Yoon plan his steps forward.

I’ll have to think about it more during lunch.

After vocal lessons were over, he motionlessly stared into space, enveloped in his thoughts.

“Shi-Yoon, Let’s go eat...You have to eat. What’ll happen to you if you’re this weak?”

“Oh, yeah. Coming.”

Although he had just been lost in his planning, he somehow attracted everyone’s sympathy.

Specifically, Lee Gyeong-Hoon.

His trainee friend. They had always stuck together.

Lee Gyeong-Hoon would eventually become a main vocal in the group Shi-Yoon had been kicked out of.

As a result, Lee Gyeong-Hoon became a member of the world-wide, phenomenal boy group, <Henix>.

<Henix>’s popularity quieted down overtime, though. Every group comes to an end.

They sparkled in the beginning. It was just how the entertainment industry worked. As new groups form and debut in a single company, the company’s work and investment would automatically go to the new group, leaving older groups behind.

Call it a natural occurrence, but <Henix>’s downfall was a bit too extreme, probably because everything boiled down to advantage.

If a group didn’t have enough power, the company’s attention strayed away from it, and the group’s impact would decrease.

Initially, Shi-Yoon’s goal had been to debut in <Henix>.

But in this life, he decided to take an alternate route.

A trait that set Shi-Yoon apart from the other members was that he could arrange and compose songs.

He hadn’t always had the ability. You could think of it as the result of surviving and holding desperately onto the entertainment industry for eight years straight.

So, his top priority wasn’t debuting with <Henix>.

He didn’t want to debut at a huge company or receive thousands of promotions…

And at the same time, he didn’t want to throw away his dream of becoming an idol.

Others might deem it useless, but to Shi-Yoon, it was his pride.

This also meant that he had to break out of the hellish system the entertainment industry had created.

 

* * *

 

Shi-Yoon came home after a hectic day.

It was at that moment...a sorrowful sight of the past seemed to stalk him again: his mother, staring blankly at the powered off TV screen, not bothering to turn on the lights; his brother’s sobbing from the other room.

Yep. Today was that day.

The grievous, empty atmosphere had made Shi-Yoon think that any bit of financial security would cure his family’s situation. So he started the part-time jobs that day.

He just walked out the door and applied for them.

But not this time.

He knew now.

He knew now that the only cure his family needed was emotional warmth and time to heal the wound.

Shi-Yoon quietly walked to where his mother was. He sat beside her.

And for the first time, he held her hand.

“Everything will be alright, Mom.”

Why had these small gestures of comfort been so hard for him in the past?

“Thank you, Shi-Yoon…Your mother will try and get stronger now...”

“It’s okay if you take your time.”

“Hm?”

“Because I’ll be by your side.”

As Shi-Yoon clasped his mother’s hands tighter, a glimmer of life seemed to return to her features.

He wanted his family to be happy in this life.

 

* * *

 

Since the age of five, Shi-Yoon had continuously learned the piano.

He dreamt of becoming a rapper as he entered middle school, and that dream eventually molded itself into the dream of becoming an idol.

His father encouraged and supported Shi-Yoon’s goal as a singer, never regarding lesson fees as a waste.

Their family wasn’t massively rich. But they had a satisfactory amount of money with some freedom to buy things at will.

When Shi-Yoon entered high school, his father bought him a lot of equipment.

Although he could’ve asked for more expensive ones, he felt like he would burden his father, so he purposely asked for the cheap kind.

Shi-Yoon sat in front of the computer.

Seeing the dusty equipment reminded him of his father.

As he’d mentioned before, his father’s death was a scar, fully healed but still faintly hurting.

Become a successful singer, son.

Those words felt like his father’s will. They embedded themselves into his chest.

The Shi-Yoon of the past had strived to achieve status as a famous singer, a singer who earned a lot of money.

Over the years, he’d realized the true way to success—but it had been too late.

“A successful singer…”

In Shi-Yoon’s eyes, a successful singer was one that was happy to be on the stage: someone who was not forced against his will to cooperate with members he disliked, someone whose overflowing happiness made him want to make others happy.

He didn’t want to break the promise with his father.

Shi-Yoon sat in front of the computer.

He looked around while the computer turned on: a 37-key master keyboard, worn out with use, a 20k Wondae audio interface, piled with dust, and a recording mic that stood by the desk.

They were all tools his father had given him.

How wonderful it would’ve been if he had built his skill with only these things.

<Nu-Bois> in the past, had claimed a good song called “Crazy”, the title song in an album.

It was such an amazing song that it had shocked the A&R team. But in the end, that was just putting a pearl necklace on a pig.*

*{Translator’s note: This is a common idiom used in Korea. The meaning is self-explanatory :>>}

The biggest reason was that none of the members, except Shi-Yoon, had practiced, and there were disagreements between the members.

There weren’t many opportunities in the entertainment industry.

Good songs never came to the <Nu-Bois> after that.

The best songs always went to a different team, while <Nu-Bois> was given ‘okay’ ones.

From that point on, Shi-Yoon endeavored to pick up better songs.

Since the composers disregarded them, he thought it was only natural to compose his own music.

Because of it, he gained a lot of experience and positive feedback, but as their group was already one with many problems, there weren’t many chances to show their skills.

This time, he was getting a head start.

He wasn’t going to write one and send it right away. He would test his skills first.

Shi-Yoon booted the computer, delighted at the software that was ready for him. He rubbed his hands together in content.

“Mhmm. Nice.”

Composing was always a joy.

It was something he did alone, away from his arguing, irresponsible members.

“Hmm...G, B7, Em, Aadd9.”

Shi-Yoon took a random virtual piano and began to organize his composition.

‘C, D7sus4, D7, Bm7…”

The organized composition was headed toward an overall bright tone.

He set the BPM at a passable medium.

For the drums, he used the 808 Kick and the snare.

The contradiction from the original bright tone of the code made it heavier.

The Hi-hat was cut at intervals and the snare gave it rhythm, while the bass gave it more weight.

Shi-Yoon recorded a vocal guide in a minor key, opposite of the happy tone of the composition.

A few melodies that fell to half-notes made the song special.

After completing the guide, he picked out a couple more side instruments he would need.

It was a song he’d written for practice’s sake.

But its level was different from the songs he had heard in the couple of days he was back.

Not only were there the catchy sounds of modern K-pop, but small bits of Shi-Yoon’s thoughtful calculations had melted into its melody.

Instantly, a lightbulb planted itself above Shi-Yoon’s head.

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